I picked out my mama's casket today....

Lovely day. It started at the funeral home, finalizing details for Mom's funeral. Then we went back to Mom's and had lunch with her...... Life change...It seems to be constant lately.... Not so many Wednesdays ago I went with my mom to the hospital for her to have a heart cath done. She'd been having difficulty breathing and was tiring quickly. This was the next step to find out what the problem was and what needed to be done. Seemed innocent enough. The test was done, Mom was resting in recovery. The doctor came out to explain the results to us. As she sat down across from me, I knew in an instant as I looked into her eyes that she was about to give me life-altering news. Instantly I turned away. I shook my head. No. Not yet. I'm not ready. I can't do this. As I turned to face the doctor already my eyes were filling. Two of her main arteries were 80% blocked. We had 3 options: bypass surgery, angioplasty or do nothing. I felt I knew what she would want to do. Her heart was already in heaven.... It has been nearly 11 months since Daddy died. (Actually, since he began to really live.....) We all stuggled enormously at first, she more than the rest of us. God's grace gradually overtook our sadness. But in the midst of her grief, she had a sinus infection, then shoulder surgery, then pneumonia. Finally around October she began to heal physically. All along she'd been leaning on the Lord to sustain her and direct her...... As God healed her heart and body, she began to seek opportunities to serve the Lord she loves. She taught the ladies in my brother's church in New Hampshire while she was visiting there. When she came home, she began to teach a Bible study in Greenville, help teach a study in Anderson and help with a Sunday School class at her church. Anyone who comes to visit her is fair game. She listens, encourages, implores, advises and basically "preaches" to whomever she comes in contact. She has experienced fulfillment as she has been used to further His kingdom. She has grasped the life the Lord has given her and surrendered to what He has laid before her. She has not given up on life, but rather embraced it...... After talking with her doctors, friends, family and seeking the Lord's desire for her, she has decided to do nothing. As we received her decision, none of us were surprised. As we struggled to come to grips with what this would mean and gently (and sometimes not so gently) try to steer away from her decision, she has been resolute. She has not been fearful. She has not been dispondent. She is at ease and patiently waiting. As do we..... I love my mama.