...My strength is sufficient....

I stand and peer down the path of life....I pause in my progress. Something is "amiss" up ahead. I cannot quite make it out, but I can see catastrophe there. It is hard to determine where exactly I will cross it on my way, but it is surely there. Sadly, I recognize this same catastrophe. It is familiar. I have crossed it before in the not so distant past and I do not desire to face it again......As I look, I notice the trees on either side of my path just past catastrophe. They are brown and bowed. They seem dull. And the flowers along the way are dried up and dying. The sun, as it shines on that portion of my path, is less bright. It is muted at best, almost pointless in its existence. The pathway itself is uneven, pocked with frightening crevasses and holes. It is unstable. It threatens to trip me and cause me to fall. I search along the way leading up to the catastrophe to find some fork in the road, some side path to take. There is none. I must go this way. I have no other choice......Then I see someone waiting on the path for me. As I hesitate to go forward, He comes to where I am. He says his name is Strength. He will walk with me. He says He will hold my hand and place His strong arm around my shoulders. He will steady me and hold me up if necessary. He will stay with me until I am strong enough to walk once more. And then He will walk beside me on my path to help again when the time comes. Where do you come from, I wonder. He says He was sent by a loving Father who recognized what my need would soon be. I am thankful. I still want to find another route, or cease going forward. Perhaps I can avoid this catastrophe altogether. No, He tells me. It is part of the loving Father's plan, but He will provide. He has already sent Strength for the path ahead. His provision will be complete and satisfying. I must go on. With His Strength by my side, I will walk the path before me. As I go forward, He will also send Peace, Comfort, Love and Hope...... Mom is surely leaving us soon. Her Savior waits for her, but He also waits for me..... Do not fear. for I am with you. Be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will hold you up with my righteous right hand.....Isaiah 41:10

The Word of the Lord from the lips of my mama

So Mom continues to struggle. Good days, bad days. Feeling good, then hurting and discomforts. She's sleeping more and more.... Her spirit, mostly, remains up, content, happy even. It's difficult to watch her decline. It was hard for Daddy to be taken quickly, though that is how he wanted it. And this is how Mom would want to do it. Lingering, loving, just "being" with those she loves. Seeking her final assignments from the Lord she loves before she goes home to be with Him....As she laid down for her nap this afternoon, she asked me to read Psalm 139 to her. I was glad to comply. Then she wanted me to turn to Psalm 34. As I began to read, she asked me to wait. Then she began to quote, "I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise shall continually be in my mouth....O magnify the Lord with me. Let us exalt His name together....O taste and see that the Lord is good....She quoted the first eleven verses. "That's all I finished so far." she said. She's halfway through memorizing the chapter. This brave, gentle, loving mind that sometimes forgets, continues to draw strength and comfort from the words of her Savior. It is a chapter of redemption, of salvation from our enemies and our troubles. Comfort for those who walk beside Him, as she has done, as she is doing. Soon I will seek this comfort, this deliverance from my troubles. And He will be faithful as He has been with her.....

Ups and downs...

Some time has passed since the last update.There are a couple of reasons for this. One is that there has been such inconsistency in Mom's "condition." There have been good days and bad. We had a stretch of about two weeks where she was doing so well I began to wonder about a miracle on her behalf. Then she would have more struggles. Then level off again. A report one day would be inaccurate the next.....This last week has brought new challenges. She has experienced dizziness and nausea. Adding new meds to combat these ailments has brought on new side effects. She has experienced difficulty focusing and is just weary of it all....Initially, the doctors told us she might have two days, or two months. It's now been 13 weeks. She assumed that by now, her struggle would be over and she'd be in the loving arms of her Savior. She is ready and anxious for this next step....The other reason is more personal. Without being in denial, it is so much easier to accept our new "normal" and continue life as if it will never end. I fight not to begin grieving before it is time to grieve. I shove my impending loss to the back of my mind and focus on enjoying the times I have with her. Tears are just one thought process away, so I try not to think, or else not to go "there." That is difficult when I update. BUT because I know you care and are praying for us, it is so worth the struggle....Thanks to all of you who have some along side of us with support and prayers. God loves to see that community among His children. Please continue to pray for wisdom and strength and acceptance of God's timing and plan for all of us as we move forward.