....a time to be thankful, still.....

And so, we began what we thought would be a 2 month journey that turned into 10 months of agonizing. Mom began to grow weaker, began to hurt more, had trouble sleeping. The meds messed with her mentally. We began to grieve......Soon, she needed round the clock care. Some days were better than others. She would have pain attacks. Nitro would be administered, then morphine if necessary. It become more and more necessary. She made final trips. People came for final visits. It was all very painful and difficult to us, her caregivers. Mom languished. And yet at the same time, she was expectant. This would be her road to heaven and she would gladly travel it. We had precious times with her as we read, sang, reminisced and talked of the future....hers and ours.... Finally, hospice was called. They were a blessing to us and very helpful with her care. They would come by and visit and check on her. Little did they know they were fair game as they walked through the door. Every visit brought an opportunity for sharing her testimony. Most were encouraged because they knew her Savior, too. Some were more introspective..... Some days, she didn't get out of the bed. Others, she would get up, get dressed and even put on makeup. These were less frequent as the days and weeks wore on. It was excruciating to watch her suffer. It was hard to see her disappointment as she woke up each morning still here on earth. She had released each of us kids one by one when she felt confident each would be okay when she was gone. I was the last....but finally I convinced her. I knew it would be devastating. I knew each day was moving me closer to gut-wrenching grief. But I knew the Lord would sustain me. I knew His plan was always best, planned out with me in mind, handed to me from a loving Savior who would also stand by me to comfort. After 6 month. Hospice said enough, already. Now we need another evaluation done......