...the hub...

Mom's day yesterday was not the brightest. She is growing tired more quickly each day. Her pain is more frequent and lasts longer. And yet that is all there is to say that's in any way negative....She laughs with us, talks about life. lessons and memories. And waits. She wonders why God still hasn't taken her home. Her wondering is not in any manner impatient, just contemplative as she searches the mind of God. Even still the delay is okay with her, for whatever reason the Lord may have. She is ready to go, willing to stay.....I try not to think about it. And I tend not to be so willing as she. I just can't "go there." Things will be so different than when Daddy died. For one thing, we won't have Mom to lean on, to cry with, to focus on as we work out our grief. For another, she's our hub.... If our family were a bicycle, Daddy would be the handlebars, steering us, keeping us on the right track, and she would be the hub of the wheel. She holds it all together, the center where all the spokes meet and join, forming strength to carry our vehicle forward. We revolve around her. We start with her and extend outward into life serving the Christ she adores. It's just hard to imagine existing without a hub to which we can return, from which we can draw strength and unity.....What then? Does our bicycle collapse, fall over, rust? What happens next? What happens is what is already in process. It is what Mama and Daddy have always taught us and directed us toward.... We form our own bicycle. We become whatever it is the Lord desires for us to be. Maybe the handlebars, or the hub. But perhaps, the pedal, or chain or tires or seat. All necessary, all a part of a successful bike. With the Lord as our "heavenly operator" we go forward in whatever direction He chooses. As long as we go with Him, our mission is fulfilling, successful. That's what we do. That's what they want of us. That is what they have always taught us to be. So be it.....