Really, Lord?

How's your Mama? This is so often the question to me. I do so appreciate and hate that question. I appreciate it because it is a demonstration of caring. It says I matter to someone, that Mom matters to someone. It is a good, honest, understandable, sensible question. But I hate it for many reasons. Often there is not a good answer. Mom's situation/status can change even as I respond. The fact is that she's dying. It's happening much more slowly than we had anticipated. One hour she's fine and the next, we are struggling to get her pain under control. I don't have a good answer for that question. Also, facing that question brings reality back into focus. It's not that I'm in denial, I just don't like to dwell there........I go "there" as I need to and for the rest of the time, I live in the hour before me, one that holds no pain or loss.

So, this morning I pick up my Bible and stumble into Ecclesiastes. What in the world? Don't think I've ever had my devotions in Ecclesiastes. So, I'm sort of wandering through. (It's all meaningless, ya know. If you don't get that, go to Ecc) And I come across chapter 7. "It is better to go into a house of mourning, than a house of feasting." Really, Lord?...... Really? "Sorrow is better than laughter because a sad face is good for the heart," Come on. Lord. What does this even mean? So I know You are in control. I know You love me and  allow to enter my life only the situations that will ultimately bless me and draw me closer to You. But I know what it's like to walk back into a house that will forever be missing a face I so desperately love and depend on. This is better than the times we have spent together laughing and "feasting"? Not possible in my realm of understanding. I don't get it and I don't even WANT to get it right now...........to be continued .......